President Obama shocks world with announcement. »

By Chief America Chick, Lasso Tool

America was thrown into chaos last night as President Obama denounced his presidency as a ‘sham and a mockery – pure hokem from start to finish.’

In a shocking early morning press conference, during which the President chain-smoked and leant on reporters for cash – Obama declared himself to be ‘an [...]

Keane v Keane: The music mash-up you weren’t meant to know about! XLUSIVE! »

By Chief Music Dude, DJ DECO-DENT.
Word up homez, chief music dude DJ DECO-DENT here with some BANGING news what will make you bitches and cocks DROP your PLOP with “Say What?”.
Oi! Listen to this shit! My top undercover music Mi-5’s have only gone and pulled back the jizz skin on what those toff’s Keane have [...]

Arsenal match abandoned due to ‘physical act of love.’ »

By Special Sports Human, Peter Staahz.

The professional football world was thrown into chaos yesterday when Arsenal’s fourth round FA cup tie against Cardiff was abandoned due to ‘a physical act of love between two or more players – rendering the match unplayable.’

The game itself was largely a dull affair with little of consequence until [...]

Love troubles? Depression? Brain cancer? Why not ask Jack? »

Hi fans, I’m Jack Black – internationally famous funny man and film star. I’m rich and I get chicks whenever I want, so my life is fucking awesome. On the other hand I hear that lots of you normal people are miserable, terrified and Godless.  But as an internationally famous funny man and film star [...]

Wilde about Miss Annie Hall! »

“Here do I sit, Oscar Wilde, alone in my cold Reading gaol-cell, with only this gaping, rectangular 16:9 ratio time-vortex of light to call a friend. Here I languish for all time, alone, yet not alone, yet always utterly entranced by this most heroic of human accomplishments that your vibrant new epoch do so quaintly [...]

The Woody Allen New Album Review #1: What’s with this Sting bum? »

STING
‘NAKED MUSIC’
Twatman Records, Runtime 4 hrs, 25 mins
Tracks:
1.  Air From A Mouth
2. Tongue And Thumb Against Labrador
3. My Farts And Other Noises
4. Crying And Laughing (with Jools Holland)
5. Crick In My Neck
6. The Audacity Of Vomit.
7. Naked Music
8. One Hour Of Silence (with Alison Krauss and Robert Plant)

        Last time I saw this Sting chump he had [...]