WOMB SEX TWIN INCEST HORROR! BLOGICLE XLUSIVE! »

 
By Special Shock Reporter, Rob Sharkbait.
SHAME

In news that will surely rock Britain and Eire to their rotten cores – Doctor’s at a maternity hospital in Liverpool have announced that unborn twins have conceived a child whilst still inside their fifteen-year-old mother’s womb.
SHOCK
The mother, Bessie Farrell, is six months pregnant with the twin lovers – the [...]

BREAKING SPORTS NEWS! David Beckham signs for 700 teams! »

 
By Special Sports Human, Peter Staahz.
 Celebrity footballer, David Beckham, is said to be relieved tonight after an inventive solution was found to the unseemly tug-of-war between AC Milan and LA Galaxy.
“We’ve cloned the lad,” said Vincenzo Ratellio, the AC Milan team physio and Nobel Prize winning cloning expert.
“Cloning Beckham is the best possible outcome for [...]

Ireland to sacrifice first born males to ’stop recession’. »

By Chief Political Correspondent, Dandeloin Trunch.

Tee-Shock Brian Cowen has today revealed his governments latest plan to forestall the upcoming economic meltdown.

“We’ve been too soft,” spoke Cowen during today’s questions to the Tee-Shock, “we’ve handled this recession with kid gloves – tinkering around the edges by introducing higher taxes, pay cuts and the withdrawal of [...]

Neanderthal DNA found in Rooney urine sample! EXCLUSIVE! »

By Special Sports Human, Peter Staahz.

Manchester United doctors were frantically trying to save the career of striker Wayne Rooney last night after a routine urine test showed Rooney to be “a seamless genetic fusion of Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon Man – dating from between 1986 and 2009 A.D.”

Doctors are hailing the news as a disaster for [...]

World Trade Federation sues obese teenager. WTF? »

By World Affairs Man, Chuck Venison
The World Trade Federation (WTF) yesterday sued Arizona teenager Derek Plodder for libel, slander, copyright infringement and ‘the use of letters that don’t belong to him’. The case concerns the use of the English language letters ‘W’, ‘T’, and ‘F’ – originally patented by the WTF back in the summer [...]