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CLINTON FREES PHIL SPECTOR BY SMASHING THROUGH PRISON WALL (OF SOUND — LOL!!).’
By Complete Crime Correspondent, Rumpole Barnfire.
Clinton explodes into action!!!
Bill Clinton is on a roll. Fresh from storming the ramparts of North Korea to extricate U.S journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling – Clinton has further confounded observers by busting through the walls of a maximum security LA jailhouse to free lady-killing wig fetishist and legendary record producer, Phil Spector!
Washington insiders spoke in hushed circles yesterday as typed words emerged of Clintons’ audacious escapade.
Former White House press spokes-female, Dee Dee Myers, rang exclusively to the Blogicle phone as news broke :
“I’m amazed, but not surprised,” breathed Myers, “Frankly, I’m a little shocked, but not actually frightened. Confused by Bill’s actions? Sure. Understanding? Absolutely.”
According to the LA Police report, Clinton rammed his armour plated, government funded Mercedes truck through the electrified walls of San Diego’s Michael Jackson Memorial Prison sometime in the early hours of August 9th. Clinton’s vehicle rampaged through the courtyard as his secret service contingent traded heavy gunfire with dozens of terrified prison guards.
“It was like something from the A-Team,” said MJMP warden, Anthony Murnane, “Clinton drove like a maniac – just like BA Baracas used do – smashing off walls and other cars – flipping over a few times – exploding a little. Only trouble is he killed maybe two or three of my staff. And that wasn’t so cool. BA Baracas never killed no-one.”
Clinton and Spector celebrate.
Police suspect that Phil Spector had prior knowledge of Clinton’s intentions – as he was reported to have recently told a cell mate that: “A saxophone playing former United States President will attempt to free me from jail.”
Prison officers were aware of these comments but dismissed them as the insane ramblings of the guy who clandestinely overdubbed strings to the Beatles’ classic tune ‘The Long and Winding Road’ – thus agitating the ongoing creative rift between the song writing partnership of John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
“Everyone knows Spector’s obsessive overdubbing on the ‘Let It Be’ album caused the Beatles break-up,” said Warden Murnane, “I read that weeks ago on Wikipedia – so anything that lunatic said in the privacy of his cell didn’t amount to a stink pile of diddly squat. The guy was a loon. Plain and simple. Although, in fairness, he did do a marvellous job on my debut single ‘Prison Warden Blues.’ His decision to overdub six thousand wolf howls over the final guitar riff surely propelled the track into the arena of instant classic.”
Clinton is believed to have driven Spector to LAX – where an awaiting private jet flew him to a secret location in Manchester, England. Rumours suggest British musical group Oasis have already signed Spector to produce their new album, ‘Lazy Tunes For A Tone Deaf Nation.’
Clinton was unapologetic about his freeing of a convicted killer, vowing instead to “free every prisoner in the world…or…eh…something like that……………Christ, I’m bored”.
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