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Kanye West gate-crashes NAMA negotiations! FULL XLUSIVE STORY!!!

Posted on Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 and is filed under NEWSICLE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

By Chief Political Correspondent, Dandeloin Trunch

"Kanye West, singing his mad heart out for our nation."

The pillars of Irish democracy rattled like a kettle-full of spoons this afternoon as American rapper Kanye West stormed  government buildings to put a stop to the ongoing NAMA deliberations.

West had earlier arrived in Dublin Bay aboard his gold plated hovercraft and was seen swilling cognac as he made his way up Nassau Street with a  hundred strong entourage of bodyguards and personalised armoured cars.

“No to motherfucking Nama!” rapped the multi-platinum selling artist as he made his way towards the stage set up by longtime  collaborator, Labour leader, Eamon Gilmore.

"Kanye, Gilmore and Burton."

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” announced Gilmore as West leaped towards the microphone, “I give you Kanye West – a true socialist and friend of Ireland.”

West, visibly emotional, playfully head-butted Gilmore to the tarmac below and pulled the microphone to his mouth. To the musical strains of his classic song ‘Gold Digga’ West preceded to hurl verbal abuse towards the handful of Fianna Fail supporters in the crowd.

“50 years, 50 years,
NAMA got one of yo’ kids, got you for 50 years
I know somebody payin’ child support for one of his kids
His baby NAMA’s car crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
Havin’ pints at Croker and driven off in a Hyundai
NAMA was supposed to buy ya shorty mortgage with ya money
But NAMA went to the doctor n’ got lipo with ya money
NAMA walkin’ around lookin’ bling with ya money
Shoulda’ got insured, but fucks you like a pro for ya moneeey
If you ain’t no punk holla’ we want pre-nup
WE WANT PRE-NUP!, yeah
It’s something that you need to have
‘Cause when NAMA leave yo’ ass she gonna leave with half,
50 years, 50 years
And on her 50th birthday, we found out it wasn’t ours?

Now I’m sayin’ Cowen’s a dumb bogger (When I’m in need)

Coz he messin’ wit those broke bankerz     (they steal me money)
Now I’m sayin’ he’s a dumb bogger     (When I’m in need)
Coz he messin’ wit those broke bankerz     (I gotta leave)
Get down BOI, go ‘head get down     (I gotta loan)
Get down AIB, go ‘head get down (I gotta loan)
Get down Anglo-Irish, go ‘head get down (I gotta big fuckin’ loan)
Get down Cowen, go get yo’ big fat ‘head down.”

Brian Cowen has since released a statement saying he “did not hear the song in question, but in any case, I much prefer the music of Snoop Dog.”

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